Oi oi oi. I did it y'all.
I made the leap and changed my blog name, or I guess you can say...I rebranded myself, haha. Making this decision wasn't easy, though. I've been the face behind "in her lovely life" for almost ten years now. That name saw me through my engagement, marriage, my pregnancies, my births, my highs and lows, my story, and so much more. But I knew it was a chapter that I so desperately needed to close...
You see, I need this next chapter of my life to be a little more about me. It has taken me years (years) to wrap my head around focusing on myself and being comfortable with knowing that this decision is not at all a selfish one. I think as mothers we tend to lose ourselves, our identity. It's easy to lump ourselves into one role (or two if you are a mother and a wife/partner). That's been me for I don't even know long. I have happily taken on the role as mother and wife; shoving my dreams/goals for my children's and husbands needs. But I'd be lying if I said that parts of my heart/soul didn't feel empty. I patiently waited, though, because I knew in my heart my time would come.
So here we are - a new name change. One of the last pieces to my puzzle. And yeah, I know it may seem silly that I'm making such a petty or "drastic" change, but believe me, there is so much more behind my old name or this page as a whole. I felt like in order to snag parts of my identity back I needed to wipe out some (most) of the old in order to make room for all the new beginnings that are in my present and future.
The end of 2017 till about now (and probably longer) has been such a hellish but also liberating and beautiful ride of my life. To say that I learned a lot about myself (and others) is a total understatement. I was faced with mirrors and my shadow self this past year, but most recently, was greeted with equal parts compassion, grace, and forgiveness. I don't have life figured out, and probably never will, but I am always genuinely trying my best. I grew a lot this year and even though I am nowhere near where I know I want to be, I'm in such a sweet spot with myself.
Yes, I still struggle with self-worth. No, I don't hate myself anymore. Yes, I had a lot of dark demons pop out the last few months. No, they will never win. Yes, I'm finally in therapy (4 weeks as of tomorrow, and can't wait to share more on that!). No, I'm nowhere near healed. Yes, there will be more photos of my face. No, that does not mean I'm putting a halt on sharing photos/moments of my family. To be honest, they are the biggest reason why I am still here standing as tall as I am. My husband is my best friend, my person, my partner, my keeper, and number 1 supporter. He has been waiting for this moment for me. So I will most definitely still share family moments.
So where "social media" is concerned...you'll probably see my face more. You're probably going to learn more about yours truly, haha. I have a lot to share - exciting news (no, I'm not pregnant but here's a sneak peek: I'm officially going back to school) and projects I cannot wait to share with you all. So if you don't want all that...I promise it won't hurt my feelings if you unfollow.
Thank you for being patient and for always cheering my on.